12. Lists that count down from the highest number first as if it were building a sense of overwhelming climactic tension that will compel the reader to finish the stupid list.
11. Lists whose itemization suspiciously seems to purposefully avoid nice round numbers, like 10, or superstitiously avoid numbers like 13.
10. Lists that contain absolutely no relevant information so as to act as a filler in order to meet their designated quota of items.
9. Lists that poke fun at their own topic, as though obsequiously attempting to appease those readers most likely to be unimpressed with the list generator’s wit.
8. Lists that are too snooty, snobby or goody-goody to even come close to mentioning the word "scrotum" (as though no matter now refined, no one furtively grins at the mere mention of the word "scrotum").
7. Lists that are associated with other lists and cannot act as a stand-alone list.
6. Lists that make a blatant error in judgment such that, oh, let’s just say… item #5 should clearly be in the place of item #6 and vice versa.
5. Lists that place an obviously inferior rank to a higher ranking item like, oh, let’s just say… item #5 should be in place of item #6 and vice versa.
4. Any item in the number 4 slot, because 4th place doesn’t exist anywhere in the world – tournaments, sports, game shows or Olympic events.
"Hey dude, I came in fourth!"
"Nice job, now go make the fries."
3. One word items, as though brevity really is the soul of wit.
2. Scrotum
1. Lists that pompously assert arrogant authority on a topic most people could care less about.
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